a long and rambling post

July 24, 2009


'relax' by Erik van Hannen

I suggested some time ago that I would share some thoughts on where I thought my life was heading. At the time I was feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed, so I'm glad I have waited until now to write about it!


This morning I read this post by the lovely greenolive, and something she wrote has stayed in my mind:


"Letting go can be good. You can't control and plan for everything. You gotta leave some room for things to happen. Things that are even better than you could imagine."


I have always been a planner. From way back. When I was a small girl growing up I'd always be thinking of the next thing I wanted to do, and how I would do it. As I got older, my plans got bigger. Of course, I now needed more time to think about these plans. All the while, a nagging voice inside was trying to tell me I was not happy. But I pushed it aside, telling myself 'when I achieve my goals, I will be happy'.


Life continued. And then, a few months ago, everything turned upside down and I was forced to stop. And to think. Getting through the next 15 minutes seemed like a struggle, let alone the next few weeks, or months, or years.


I have changed these past few months. And I put it down to one thing. 


Being in the moment.


I never realised before that while I was planning ahead and thinking about all the great things I was going to do in the future, that life was actually happening all around me. That great things were happening RIGHT NOW. 


So. I have slowed down. I now spend more time with friends. Drinking wine. Talking. Relaxing. And not worrying that I should be doing something 'more productive'. And what do you know? When you open yourself up to people, when you start to relax, to live life, wonderful things happen. Unexpected things. People come into your life who surprise you. Who reinforce everything you have been thinking and feeling. Who make you feel like yourself. You know who you are. 


I am happier now than I have ever been.

12 comments:

  1. What a fabulous post. Sometimes it is nice to slow down and live in the moment. I think we make life too hard for ourselves nowadays....

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  2. Oh, I can relate. And thank you for reminding me personally that I need to stop and enjoy a few things here and now too.

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  3. That is a wonderful post! Very thoughtful and very true. How quickly do we forget about the great things in our life and just focus on what we want instead.. Thanks for writing it out so well in this very personal post.

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  4. It might be that I'm bone tired, it might be that I've had a glass (or two) of red wine and possibly a square too much chocolate but your heartfelt writing has brought a lump to my throat! Thanks for sharing that, I'm going to switch off the computer and turn off the lights in my workroom now and share some special time with my special person (and the cat!). Oh yeah, and the chocolate .....

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  5. Thanks for sharing your lovely words and thoughts. I'm so glad that you have found happiness in your life, and I wish you continued joy!

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  6. It's wonderful to hear you are happy. I too decided to take a different outlook on life this year and decided to take some risks - when normally fear would take over. Believing in yourself and taking one moment at a time really makes a difference. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and once again I am so pleased to hear that you are so happy becuase you deserve it xoxLynelle

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  7. Your post is wonderful. I strive for this when acting in a show, this "being in the moment and taking time to take everything in." I never ever thought of applying to "real" life too. How weird that I want this onstage but can't seem to find in my life. Thank you, darlin.

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  8. love love love this post. and it's a nice reminder too. :) xo

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  9. So glad that good things are happening and you are HAPPY. For so long I didn't know what made me happy, or that I was even allowed to be/feel happy every single day!
    Martine xx

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  10. Me too. And happy for you and others who discover the importance of enjoying every moment.

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  11. I am constantly trying to slow down but I seem to be a dismal failure at it - perhaps I just need to try harder. Thanks for the inspirational post.

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